Freedom

I came across this blogring in June 2007. Alot of what I read from other recruiters mirrored how I felt being out there. I say "out there" as I am no longer apart of that...society. I had just reenlisted for a new assignment. My final true reenlistment, as my next one I go "indef". I don't even know where to start. I just want to get it all down.

I came to recruiting with a bright and happy demeanor, one which was quickly lost. I saw a side of the military that I never knew existed, one I wish I could forget and know I never will. I almost lost the most important people in my life. I was so driven, so focused, always looking for that next contract, I forgot to remember them. My daughter grew up before my closed eyes. My husband, my strong and incredible husband, he stayed through 3 years, 2 months and 2 days of the worst assignment I have known in the 10 years I have been in.
Since I left recruiting, I have changed. I am no longer jumpy when the phone rings. I spend time...lots of time with my family. We have dinner together. I have seen more of them in the last 6 months than my whole time on recruiting. I sleep at night. I lost weight. I smile because I am happy, not because I have to. Did I mention Germany is beautiful in the fall? I love my unit. I love my job. I love the fact that I have soldiers again. I go to ranges. I pull duty. I get 3 and 4 day weekends every month.
It has been awesome to read that I am not alone. No matter what anyone ever said, I knew that alot of what went on in that world was wrong. Will it ever change? Who knows. I think that getting rid of the super recruiter mentality is a big step forward. The "team concept" will be, IMHO, a Very Good Thing for recruiting. I know that the majority of the recruiters who were in my station (LP) are gone. There are 2 left along with the SC. I hope that they are doing well.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Most all tangible memories of that time have been discarded. I tossed all of my badges before I moved. The last one I wore on my uniform...I took off as I was driving back from MEPS the day I outprocessed. I threw it out the car window at about 90 mph.
The ring, however, I wear. I don't wear it to show off. I am a girl, I do like pretty things, especially little golden sparkly baubles that adorn my fingers. This ring, however, is more than that. This ring symbolizes things lost, things gained, tears, trials and tribulations.

I wear the ring as a badge of honor. I survived recruiting.